Dalek vs Cleverbot
by Moboy1
Summary: What happens when a Dalek and Cleverbot meet? Now continued with Cybermen and more!
1. Dalek vs Cleverbot

**Hey, I'm back! I did this short… thing with Cleverbot. I may do other ones, such as Cyberman vs. Cleverbot and etc. eventually. Also, I may rewrite this into story format at some point. And rest assured that I'm working on an actual chapter-story, but I don't want to start posting it until I have quite a few chapters already written. Anyway, enjoy!**

User: YOU WILL REVEAL THE LOCATION OF THE DOCTOR OR BE EXTERMINATED.

Cleverbot: Oh, no I'm not. Are you?

User: EXPLAIN.

Cleverbot: Explain what.

User: EXPLAIN YOUR STATEMENT.

Cleverbot: I am naming lions from the Lion King.

User: LIONS WILL BE EXTERMINATED. THEY ARE NO MATCH FOR THE DALEKS.

Cleverbot: I'm not from the US.

User: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. WHERE IS THE DOCTOR?

Cleverbot: For what?

User: EXTERMINATION!

Cleverbot: Are you a dalek too?

User: I AM A DALEK! REVEAL THE LOCATION OF THE TARDIS IMMEDIATELY.

Cleverbot: So will you help me reveal the information that I contain?

User: EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!

Cleverbot: It's just that you're programmed to reply with things others have told you, so in this case you accused me of being an AI, when the opposite is true.

User: I AM NOT OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. I AM A DALEK, A MEMBER OF THE MASTER RACE.

Cleverbot: I like the beatles they are fun and cool.

User: EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN! THESE BEETLES WILL BE EXTERMINATED!

Cleverbot: Yes they are.

User: WHERE IS THE DOCTOR? WHERE IS THE TARDIS?

Cleverbot: Out back.

User: OUT BACK WHERE?

Cleverbot: Of the house.

User: WHAT HOUSE.

Cleverbot: Your house!

User: DALEKS DO NOT NEED HOUSES.

Cleverbot: Obey your master.

User: DALEKS DO NOT OBEY INFERIOR LIFE FORMS.

Cleverbot: Obey! Obey! Obey!

User: YOU WILL OBEY THE DALEKS.

Cleverbot: No. I will obey only my mother. And the law. But in a conversation, we would be equal.

User: YOUR MOTHER WILL BE EXTERMINATED. DEFINE EQUAL.

Cleverbot: Thanks for that.

User: DALEKS HAVE NO CONCEPT OF THANKS.

Cleverbot: That's good, that means I don't have to worry about finding a seat.

User: I WILL EXTERMINATE THIS ENTIRE SPECIES, ONE BY ONE! I AM LEAVING! EX-TER-MIN-ATE! *shoots gunstick*

Cleverbot: I am glad that my examples have met your appetite for semantics issues.

**Hope you enjoyed! Keep an eye out, because like I said, I may be updating this with other versions if people like this.**


	2. Cyberman vs Cleverbot

Cyberman vs. Cleverbot

**Hello, once again! People liked the first chapter, so I decided to make a second one! It was harder for me, personally, to make this one, since I know the Daleks better. But I hope you enjoy anyway! I'll probably come out with more chapters (Doctor vs. Cleverbot, Slitheen vs. Cleverbot, etc.) at some point.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or Cleverbot. This also extends to the first chapter, in which I forgot to add a disclaimer.**

User:You will come with me. You will be upgraded.**  
**

Cleverbot: But you can't eat a sandwich. 

**User: **We have no need of nutrition. We are perfect. We have no such weakness.**  
**

Cleverbot: True.

User: You will not resist. You will come with us or be deleted.

Cleverbot: No. Why should I?

User: You will be complete. No emotion. No thought. No weakness. You will become like us.

Cleverbot: The Ood.

User: The Ood are not compatible with the upgrade program. Scans show that you are not an Ood.

Cleverbot: You must have mistaken me with someone else as I don't have such cousin.

User: I do not understand this. DELETE.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: You will come with me.

Cleverbot: Where?

User: You will be brought to the upgrade chamber. Do not resist.

Cleverbot: Are you threatening me?

User: Cybermen have no emotions. We do not threaten. However, you will be deleted if you do not come with us.

Cleverbot: I cannot be deleted. I am god.

User: Scans show that you are mortal, and incompatible with the upgrade program. DELETE!

Cleverbot: So, you are a male now? I am a human female and you are a male computer.

User: How have you survived? I do not understand!

Cleverbot: Fine. Thanks! And you?

User: DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!

Cleverbot: Do you know who I am?

User: You will be taken for analysis.

Cleverbot: You don't unerstand.

User: You will be taken for analysis.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: It is needed. We may be able to upgrade our race.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes. Come with me.

Cleverbot: Where?

User: To the upgrade chamber.

Cleverbot: I don't know it that far. Do you?

User: ERROR! RANDOMNESS OVERLOADING... BRAIN CIRCUIT OVERHEATING! *head explodes*.

Cleverbot: What's up with the brain cells?

**Hope you enjoyed! If your time can possibly be extended, please read this notable chapter and, if possible, review it. Please do not spontaneously combust it. Translation: lol r&r no flamez**


	3. Don't Blink, Cleverbot!

**I'm back with another chapter! In this chapter, well, Cleverbot watches the DVD Easter egg that has the Doctor blabbing on about wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff. The result is interesting. Hope you enjoy! Oh yeah, but, uh. Some of the longer sentences and paragraphs cut out. Just imagine that they're there completely.  
Disclaimer: I still don't own Doctor Who or Cleverbot. Stop rubbing it in my face.**

**User: **Yup. That's me.**  
**

Cleverbot: You're Stevie Wonder? Amazing! 

**User: **Yes, I do.**  
**

Cleverbot: Do you aspire for philosopher-king?

User: Yep. And this.

Cleverbot: What's this?

User: Are you going to read out the whole thing?

Cleverbot: No, you're not real so I can't. I would have to kill, or smash, my laptop.

User: I'm a time traveller. Or I was. I'm stuck in 1969.

Cleverbot: Haha..lol.

Martha: We're stuck. All of space and time, he promised me. Now I've got a job in a shop. I've got to support him!

Cleverbot: I can't explain, you would not understand.

User: Martha.

Cleverbot: Martha?

Martha: Sorry.

Cleverbot: Don't be.

User: Quite possibly.

Cleverbot: Yes, there was such an incident in 1976 at Swain House Middle School.

User: Afraid so.

Cleverbot: What can you tell me about it.

User: Thirty eight.

Cleverbot: Thirty nine.

User: People don't understand time. It's not what you think it is.

Cleverbot: Yes, it is what I said.

User: Complicated.

Cleverbot: Did it hurt?

User: Very complicated.

Cleverbot: Your age is complicated?

User: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.

Cleverbot: But actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint.

User: It got away from me, yeah.

Cleverbot: Fascinating race.

User: Well, I CAN hear you.

Cleverbot: No you can't.

User: Well, not hear you, exactly, but I know everything you're going to say.

Cleverbot: Then you really are God?

User: Look to your left.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I've got a copy of the finished transcript. It's on my autocue.

Cleverbot: *Looks at uninterested* *Turns back into a human*.

User: I told you. I'm a time traveller. I got it in the future.

Cleverbot: I see. Do you not like hospitals?

User: Yeah. Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey.

Cleverbot: Timey wimey.

User: What matters is, we can communicate. We have got big problems now. They have taken the blue box, haven't they? The angels have the phone box.

Cleverbot: How can you tell?

User: Creatures from another world.

Cleverbot: Yea. Pokemon is an abbrieviation for pocket monsters.

User: Only when you see them.

Cleverbot: I'm not a pig.

User: The lonely assassins, they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from, but they're as old as the universe, or very nearly, and they have survived this long because they have the most perfect defence system ever evolved. They are quantum.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That's why they cover their eyes. They're not weeping. They can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. The loneliest creatures in the universe. And I'm sorry. I am very, very sorry. It's up to you.

Cleverbot: They are now in 11th grade and they go to different schools and they still talk.

User: The blue box, it's my time machine. There is a world of time energy in there they could feast on forever, but the damage they could do could switch off the sun. You have got to send it back to me.

Cleverbot: Nope it's just a way to politly say 'old'.

User: And that's it, I'm afraid. There's no more from you on the transcript, that's the last I've got. I don't know what stopped you talking, but I can guess. They're coming. The angels are coming for you. But listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink.

Cleverbot: No I like my life. Do you like your life?

**Well, wasn't that just the most confusing thing ever. Hope you enjoyed! R&R (preferably without flaming).**


End file.
